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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I'm 34 and have spent the last six years trying to find a genuine partner through every possible route -- dating apps, matrimonial sites recommended by relatives, setups through friends. It's been exhausting and disheartening. The men I match with are either secretly married, emotionally unavailable, or bluntly state that they aren't interested in commitment. On matrimonial sites, I keep coming across entitled MCPs (male chauvinist pigs) who want a docile, obedient wife -- someone to bear their children, manage their homes, and take care of their aging parents like we are living in 1950. The few men I've genuinely connected with emotionally have told me upfront that they don't believe in marriage or aren't looking for anything serious. And here I am, still single. I've been seriously considering signing up for an app purely focused on intimacy. I'm not looking to sleep around without thought. What I crave is connection, touch, and feeling desired, even if it doesn't lead to marriage. I've dated so many men in search of love, and yet, I've ended up alone. Is it wrong to stop chasing 'the one' and instead focus on fulfilling my emotional and physical needs without expecting long-term commitment?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
It's obvious to me that you haven't yet sat yourself down and asked:
- What do I want in my life partner?
- What do I want from a marriage?

You have shared about what others want from you; what do you want from a potential association?
Being clear will help you stop this chase and anyway, there's no 'The One'...if you find one, do let me know and I will be happy for you...Marriage is not about finding the right person but by knowing what you want from a marriage. This narrows down your choices to someone that close to your thoughts and value systems and then you both have to make the marriage work.

Now, if you are not looking for a committed association or a long-term one, then you will have to keep playing games with people who are half serious or just looking for some fun and hey, the chances of you being emotionally hurt will be greater here...
So, be clear on what you want and then you will know the next step, the next conversation that you wish to have with a person with more certainty that increases your chances at a good sturdy relationship.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 18, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Dear guru. I recently watched the film Aap Jaisa Koi and I could relate so much with Kusum bhabhi's character. My condition is somewhat similar. I've been married for six years now. On the outside, everything looks perfect -- a good husband, a 3bhk two storied home in Lucknow, a stable life. But inside, I feel invisible. My husband is a good man, no doubt, but he barely notices me as a person anymore. Conversations revolve around chores, family obligations, and money. There's no affection, no curiosity about how I feel or what I want from life. Sometimes I wonder if he even sees me as a woman, or just as a role I'm expected to keep performing without complaint. Watching the film made me realise how quietly unhappy I've become. I'm not thinking of anything drastic like Kusum, but I do crave connection, validation, and a sense of being wanted, not just needed. I have often felt the urge to text my college crush just to talk or sign up on an app maybe to share my feelings. Is it normal to crave for love and sex outside your marriage? Will it help
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Movies can wake you up, but also don't apply everything from it onto yourself. You will feel like a 'perfect' victim. It's good that you have become aware that you truly want more affection from your husband which is what you call as connection or validation.
Also, when you start to fill the void in your marriage from outside, it's not going to be a very pleasant experience.
Working on your marriage can help; some men unfortunately are raised in homes that don't teach them on how to care for a woman and her feelings. Usually, the male figure at home will dominate in a way that the mother/sister will be submissive or subservient and then the son picks this trait from his father.
So, even if you raise this point of affection, your husband is possibly not going to understand or will simply tell you that you are overthinking. He knows only that much...
Start by being excited about your marriage...
- appreciate him often; it might teach him to do the same with you
- express your wants very clearly without making it sound like a complaint; it may teach him to follow your expectations
- ask for help within your marriage; it may subtly teach him to show up more for you

It's a long journey perhaps, but start somewhere...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu I've been married for almost four years now, and there's something my husband does that is really starting to hurt me. He constantly compares me to other women in his life -- sometimes it's his mother, sometimes his sister, and often his friend's wife. In the beginning, I brushed it off thinking maybe I was being too sensitive or reading too much into it. But now it's become a pattern, and I can't help but feel like I'm always falling short in his eyes. He'll say things like, 'Look how well my mother manages the house. She took care of the house without any maid and even helped us with our studies. You have so much help and still you are complaining.' Whenever he sees a homemaker wife, he will tell me 'See how she supports her husband without questioning him.' Even smaller details like how I dress or speak is a topic of comparison. He is never mean; sometimes it's casual, sometimes it's like a joke, but the message still stings. I hope I am not overreacting.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
He's just playing the immature person and passing it off as though you are the problem for that.
A person who has accepted himself fully can never accept anyone else because their job is to see what is wrong and try and fix it. He's doing that you.
What I would say is: Stand your ground by having a straight face, listening and then just letting it be...(hard but it just gives him the satisfaction of throwing it out)...now, before you jump to any conclusions, here is what doing this will give you. Once he complains, he will keep quiet and when there is no reaction from you, eventually he will try harder and then give up...the best way to defeat someone in this kind of an emotional brawl is to actually be SILENT! Hard to do, but it will work...
And you also get to be who you are...Now, when he's going to accept himself etc is a long road ahead but take this one step at a time...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 17, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Anu, My husband and I have been married for 12 years. We have a 9 year old son. But I am bored of my husband. He is lazy, doesn't take care of himself and there is no intimacy. All he does is watch TV when he is at home. Even if he go out on holidays, he prefers to sleep in or watch TV. He has friends with whom he goes on drinking sessions or watch a game of cricket. But that's about it. He doesn't like to talk or discuss anything at home. Is this even normal? If I tell him he says I am overreacting.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Marriages are not meant to be all fun and happy all the time and over the years, it can become very boring.
Especially if during the initial years, you have not spent it on bonding with one another and just kept it to day to day getting by, you will see what you are seeing now in your marriage. Try something new and different in conversations and within your intimacy as well...
On the other hand, I want you to think: Has he suddenly turned into this lazy and no-care person? Has this to do with something going on with his work, his health, other family commitments? You can work a bit behind the scenes to figure this one out as well...
But, if he has chosen this treatment only for you, I would suggest that you better watch out and take charge before it becomes something bigger. Do a bit of your research on this and see what comes up, so that you can figure out if he's just bored or checked out of the marriage.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2025Hindi
Relationship
We both joined in our job together. He was so caring. I developed feeling fr him. But now he is going to join new job. I told him i will miss him a lot. But he was so casual and says whenever u want to talk, you can call me. But i feel very bad when i think he will leave soon. Help me to handle this situation.
Ans: When he responded casually, saying you can call him anytime, it may have felt like he was emotionally distant or didn’t feel the same intensity. That can be hurtful, especially when you were hoping for some deeper acknowledgment of your bond. But people express emotions differently. His casualness doesn’t necessarily mean he didn’t value your presence — it might just be his way of avoiding emotional vulnerability or not knowing how to respond to closeness.

Now, the focus shifts to you — your healing, your emotions, and your ability to hold on to what was meaningful while also protecting your own peace. Start by accepting that it's okay to feel sad, even tearful. Allow yourself to miss him, but don’t let that feeling convince you that you’re incomplete without him around. You’re not losing everything — you’re transitioning from closeness to distance, which may or may not evolve into a deeper connection, depending on both of you.

Use this phase as a mirror — reflect on what you truly want: was this just emotional comfort in a shared space, or did you genuinely want a future with him? If it’s the latter, and he didn’t show similar feelings, it’s okay to grieve that quietly while slowly detaching.

Let this moment teach you not about loss, but about how deeply you can feel, and how resilient you are in giving space to someone while still holding space for yourself. Nurture your friendships, invest in small routines that uplift you, and remind yourself that care and affection will come again — sometimes from unexpected people and places.

If you feel you need closure or more clarity from him, it’s okay to have one final honest conversation. Just remember, your peace matters more than anyone’s presence.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 16, 2025

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi , I am married since past 13 years. I am happy in my marriage. But from pat 1 month my ex came in my life. I tried to ignore him first, avoided him but somehow he entered my life. Now the situation is we talk everyday on call and wen we aren't talking on call than we are chatting with each other. Basically we talk with each other every minute. I really miss him in my life whereas he misses me more than me . He pushes me to meet up but till now I m restricting myself to not to meet him and limit myself on call. Now we both are each other's habit but somehow i feel all this is very wrong bcoz I hav a loving husband. And yes I forgot to mention he will be getting shortly divorced from his wife with whom he had an love marriage. Please help, what should I do ??
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that there’s nostalgia and a certain familiarity at play here, but as you said yourself, this isn’t fair to your husband. I wouldn’t have said this if you even once mentioned that you reconnected as friends. But, it seems mildly romantic from where I am standing. Plus, I am assuming that your husband doesn’t know about this reconnection. It’s truly unfair to him. I suggest either creating a little more distance from your ex, and building boundaries, and most importantly, speak to your husband and let him know that you reconnected. I am sure it feels very nice to get attention from someone who was once important to you, but I assure you that this isn’t worth ruining your happy marriage. New attention always feels good at first, but eventually this too will become routine. Please tread carefully.

Hope this helps.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 15, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 15, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi Mr Ravi. My wife has this annoying habit of coming in the way of my friends. Whenever I step out of home, she will call me back with some excuse. She wants to know where I go, who I meet. If I tell her she doesn't let me meet my friends. Naturally, I have become secretive now. I only tell her that I am stepping out. I don't tell her where, or who I meet. I have stopped calling my friends home. I have tried telling her to go and hang out with her friends but she won't do that either. I don't understand why she wants me around all the time. Is it wrong to hang out with friends after marriage? How do I make her explain?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand it must be tough, and you are right, there’s nothing wrong with hanging out with friends. But I would suggest looking into how much time you are giving them and how much time you are spending with your wife. I am not accusing you of anything; this is just the first step. Reflecting on your own actions so that you are clear it’s no way your fault. Next, please try having an open discussion with her to understand what is making her so insecure. This is a clear sign of insecurity. It might give you an idea of what is going on in her mind, and how this can be fixed.

I understand that it is frustrating and feels unfair, but it is important to also understand what’s going on in your partner’s mind that’s making her feel the need to act this way. If it’s reasonable, there should be an easy solution. If her reasoning sounds self-centred, then you have a strong chance of trying to explain why it’s not fair. But without knowing, if you continue being secretive, it is only going to end up doing irreparable damage to your relationship.

Hope this helps.
(more)
Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 30, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hello Mam, My father never wanted to have my own career choices but I finally took my decision and left IIM after 1 year and now working in central government job, even though he was verbally everyday and even my mother didnot believed that I will be able to clear any exams. I am an 28 year old women, I got my posting out of home and when I was finally free, my father and mother with their connections made me transfered and my current posting is at my hometown and again I am living with them. Everytime when I go out I have to inform them where I am going why I am going when I will come home back. I am afraid that my father will again start abusing my mother if I will get married by my own choice. The boy family is good and even he is successful in his career. My parents know him as my friend. But their habit of not giving me freedom and micromanaging because of their insecurities is stressing me out!
Ans: Your parents' controlling behavior isn’t about your capabilities — it’s about their fear of losing control. Often, when parents are deeply conditioned by societal expectations, they confuse love with control. What may seem like “concern” on the surface is, at its core, a refusal to trust your maturity and autonomy. You’ve built your life with discipline and hard work, and yet they continue to micromanage your every move, which is emotionally suffocating. It’s even more complex because your father has a history of verbal abuse, which creates a fear-based silence in the household — especially around decisions like marriage.

You’re not wrong to feel stressed. You’re not overreacting. You’re simply reacting to a system that constantly undermines your independence. And now, with love and marriage in the picture, the pressure increases — not just because you want to choose your partner, but because you know the emotional cost your mother might pay if your father feels challenged again.

Here’s the hard truth: living your life to protect someone else’s comfort or to avoid conflict is not truly living. Yes, you love your mother, and yes, your father’s patterns may continue — but your life cannot be paused or dictated by his inability to manage his own emotions. You are not responsible for his temper or his ego. You are responsible for your own peace.

This doesn’t mean rebellion — it means building quiet strength. If this relationship is truly what you want, start gently setting emotional and logistical boundaries. You can continue to present him as a “friend” for now while you plan your next step. You may need support — from a mentor, therapist, or trusted elder — to navigate this transition calmly and safely.

What’s most important is that you do not let fear become your compass. Your parents’ insecurities are not your burden to carry forever. Your life, your relationship, your happiness — they are yours to own. And if you ever feel overwhelmed, remind yourself of everything you've overcome already. You walked away from a premier institute and built something solid for yourself. That kind of strength doesn’t go away — it just needs permission to rise again.
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I'm a 28, female in a secret relationship with my team manager at a leading MNC in Bangalore. We have been together for 3 years. He's been hinting at marriage, but wants me to quit and move to another city where he is planning a start-up. I have worked really hard to reach this position. I am up for a promotion soon, but I don't want to lose him for choosing my career. Why can't a woman have both?
Ans: Let’s call it out gently but clearly: when someone says they love you and want a future with you, but that future depends entirely on your sacrifice — like quitting your job, leaving your city, and sidelining your aspirations — what they’re offering isn’t an equal partnership. Love doesn’t thrive in ultimatums or secret corridors. It asks for courage, respect, and room for both people to evolve.

The fact that this relationship has been secret for three years also speaks volumes. Silence can often feel safe in the short term, but it becomes heavy in the long run. If marriage is truly on the table, shouldn’t visibility and openness be part of the foundation?

You’re asking, “Why can’t a woman have both?” And the answer is — she absolutely can. But she needs to be with someone who wants her to shine, not someone who only sees her as a companion if she dims her own light. Real love doesn’t demand abandonment of purpose. It makes space for it. It supports it. It celebrates it.

This is the time to pause and ask yourself: What kind of life partner do I truly need? One who walks beside me, or one who expects me to follow quietly? And if your inner voice is full of confusion, know that this is normal. You are not selfish for valuing your career. You are not unloving for needing stability and self-respect.

Your next steps should come from a place of alignment — with who you are now, and who you want to become. If you’d like, I can help you reflect deeper through journaling prompts, or structure a conversation with him that allows you to express your truth clearly and without fear.

You deserve a love that expands you, not a love that asks you to shrink.
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am married since 25 years and aged 45. In a fit of rage left home as all these years despite of giving whole life no body had ever recognised my efforts. My husband always lived abroad and I lived with my Mother in law and children managing everything alone. Being a working lady it was very tedious but still with pride I did so......Always I was asked wha did u do? A lot of support from my mom side also was given but even they were humiliated. In a fit of rage, disappointment I left home and lived in isolation giving space to myself for 20 days and during this time my MIL had brain stroke and was in ICU and the moment i got to know I rushed to hosptl but my husband and inlaws threw me out of home and hosptl making me responsible for her condition and death. Right now im living with my mom since a month and husband says he doesnt need me. I need him , i love him. I am shattered now. Please suggest what do i do? He is not ready to talk to me neother any of my sisters in law are. I am a working lady but family is equally important. Question on my character is also being raised. Kindly suggest
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You need to ask yourself:
"I need my family, but does my family also need me? Have they needed me all these years?"
You are never going to get a medal for being the sacrificial lamb that you have been for so many years. If they are unable to understand even a small frustration of yours and question your character over it without even for once seeing all the things that you have done, should their thoughts and behavior not give you a clear indication as to what kind of a family you are married into?
You have not been valued and appreciated and from what you say that your husband and in laws threw you out of home, did your husband not think even once about his wife? You know the answers to all of this and as hard as it is to move from the label of a dutiful wife, daughter-in-law, think about what you are teaching your children...are you asking them to also succumb to disrespect and harsh judgements? Think hard and for once, think for yourself!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 07, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am 27 years old normal middle class girl , I have a family of 5 including my parents and one sister and brother. I am a software engineer earning 1 lakh. My mother is very happy and proud of me , but at the same time she has burdened me with over expectations . She asked me to renovate our old house , to which i happily agreed . But she kept asking for more. Because of her bad marriage she asked me not to marry , but i already have a boyfriend . I doubt that now more than the fear of marrying wrong person she is more afraid of the money which will be gone out of the house, if i marry someone. Because she never forbid marriage to my sister and brother , in fact she keeps planning for their marriage . i thought i will handle these problems later, by telling her that how nice my boyfriend is. Now the worst part is , she even asked me to buy flat for my brother , after i am done rennovating our house . I denied, which left her confused . But she never pushes my brother towards study and these days even my brother has become careless . She still thinks that my money is our family money forever, because I should never marry . I had several fights with her because I kept nagging her to ask my brother to study . Actually she thinks that I am brilliant and I should do everything for my brother, and my brother is not that intelligent like me . My mom is failed to understand that my brother is a lazy guy who doesn't want to study . She is not focused in overall growth of our family where everyone work hard, she is just happy that I started earning and it doesn't matter much that any other family member is earning or not . All these things are burdening me .
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have officially become the ATM for your family. Move out of home...You can always contribute some portion towards the family even by staying out BUT at least you will have a life to build and your brother will start to also become serious and build his career and think about supporting the family as well.
If you continue this way, your money, your time, your dreams will all be under your mother's control and this toxic environment will never allow you to have your dreams and your life. So act NOW!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi mam,im 38 years old and my husband 41 years old.we are joint family.My husband is in NRI and he comes to india yearly once.He have spend 45 days in a year only.we have two kids one kid is 5 years old and another kid is 8 years old.im staying with my mother in law.we got married since 2014.my husband not giving importance except financial advice.He is always supporting for his mother and his elder sister.Sometimes some conflicts between his mother and me.Many times i accept and give response for her age but sometimes she is speaking rudely.i cant control my anger and shows my anger to her its just 5 percent but 95 percentagd she is doing.whenever i told to my husband he told me that u are the reason for fight and u have to adjust all things.He give first preference for his mother and sister only.All parents are struggling to raise them but he talk that his mother only struggling and give this much life.His parents nothing do special .they are not do any specific or any special things.if i take and talk same like that what will happened.Some arguments and fight will come between us.he didnt accept his mothers mistake.He is good amma payan.And wherever we go he comes along with his mother.Im living with his mother for whole year even in his vacation time also he is not ready to spend some time with me and he didnt respect my feelings.Even lost year kerala trip also he comes along with his mother only.i told him wherever we goto temple we along with your mother but i need to spent time with you alone but he never listen my words and told that his mother never seen before this place.As a son can satisfying her expection.And my side all things doing with my parents is a certain limit.He is going toomuch for his mother and i want to tell one thing for 10 years of marriage life we didnt go any honeymoon trip also.wherever we go just nearby cinima shopping and nearby park we go alone and return back only.i want to spend with him what i have to do but he is not.i need some relief for my routine life.he never understood me.Kindly give some advice to rectify my problem.And in fronf of his son his mother spoke very polite and calm but with me very rude sometimes.I shows my anger with him and he gave me advice to his mother is oldage she is good and something.i got too much anger and fight with him.He always blaming me.What i have to do.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
You have married a man who is stuck in an unhealthy relationship. Many homes have a case of the mother and son stuck together and this impacts the marriage. The son never wants to grow up and the mother does not allow the son to grow up. That way she can still have control over him and he enjoys all that attention.
Honestly the two of you need to go through Marriage Therapy with the spotlight on how to build a marriage that your husband has to learn. I don't know if your husband will agree to allow a third person to tell him that he's stuck in something and needs to move from there by growing up.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 16, 2025Hindi
Relationship
there is btech IT girl who got 2 chances for internship but she did not get permanent job offer in that. in 2nd internship company terminates her internship tenure in four and half months only due to love affairs with colleague. Her father used to know about these all happening and tried to convince his daughter 100 times but she did not listen advise of her father and starting to make false commitment that I will not talk with that boys. She collapsed her career. Father advised 100 times to focus on career, after settling in career you can go for lover and other things. due to these incidents she is sitting at home without job. her father mentally disturbed very badly and always comes negative thought and effecting father's health also. How can father get rid of these negativity please advise. Her father lover very well she does matter in her life and being a lower income people her father gave up entire thing of personal life but tried to educate all three daughters she is 2 nos. of daughter amongst all three. her father entire hardship is going to be ruined due to these silly things. even elder daughter also does not get success in career. after getting clearance everything she rejected due to medical ground. please help father
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
There is nothing much he can do...she's a mature adult and should be made responsible for her actions...
Adults must be treated like adults. Rather than encouraging her mistakes anymore, do ask the father to talk to the girl and give her his final decision; that if she wants to continue living at home, she must take care of a few expenses at home as well. That hopefully will push some responsibilities on her and she may try behaving properly at her place of work.
Yes, the father may feel negative but that is not going to help him solve the problem. Now, he needs to make his daughters act responsibly towards themselves and towards the home.

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 14, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 18, 2025Hindi
Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |58 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 11, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I've been facing a recurring issue in my marriage that's beginning to affect both my peace of mind and our trust. Whenever I go out with friends especially if we're having drinks my wife constantly calls or messages to check on my whereabouts. Even though I always tell her the truth about where I am, who I'm with, and when I'll be back, she still seems suspicious and uneasy. For instance, just last week I was out with two of my old college friends at a restaurant, and she called me multiple times within two hours, asking if I was really with them and when I planned to return. I could sense from her tone that she didn't fully believe me, even though I wasn't doing anything wrong. This has happened several times before, and every time I try to explain, she either changes the topic or says, "You men always hide something." I understand the importance of transparency in a relationship, and I've always tried to be honest with her. But I'm beginning to feel like I'm being micromanaged or doubted for no reason. It's not just about a night out - it's about trust and space. I'm worried that her insecurity might lead to bigger trust issues down the line. How should I deal?
Ans: Hello sir. I understand your situation. This is a serious issue that your wife is not trusting you or she has some suspicion towards you. Well, just review weather was there any reason to be suspicious? Not now may be in past? And if not so then ask your wife directly that what has caused these changes in her nature? May be she has a friend who is going through the same trust issues and due to which she is also being suspicious. You have to find out that very patiently. Once you ll know the reason things will be easier and will get sorted out. I hope this helps
Take care
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
Follow me on:
https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet
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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |58 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 11, 2025

Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 26, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I have a online friend of over 3 years now. We were very good friends for 2 years but he always showed his interest in me indirectly which I always ignored because A he was going good in his career, his caste was different, and that I was still unclear about my career, including I was just overcoming from a previous 3 month dating. My friend also came to meet me twice in my city but I didn't meet him. Later, after nearly 2 years, I asked him how he was to which he saw text and replied after a day because he was too busy in work. Upon saying that I was curious he teased me whether he was my boyfriend and I got angry on him. He called to mend up after 8-10 days, I didn't respond and he never called again. After almost 10 months, I texted him, we immediately connected, felt emotional, I was about to confess, he realised this and told me he was in a casual dating phase with his junior for one month, had kiss, no further intimacy. But he constantly had feelings for me. I told him it was always him and I never thought about any other man. He regretted and felt that he in a way cheated on me, but I assured him that we were not committed, and he didn't know about my feelings. Now I am stuck what to do. We are yet to meet in September this year. He calls me, makes me laugh, but sometimes I just miss him a lot and need his emotional availability to address my thoughts and doubts about us. All he has to say is that I like you and I love you. I don't understand he is the samne old friend who used to understand me without me saying a word. Now doens't want to undo knots in my heart. Even though he is not a cheater, mature, and loving guy, I am not feeling the same as before. I cried for the first time because of him in 3 years only the day he told about he girl. I have always felt calm with this guy but now, I am doubtful.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand that it must be frustrating and confusing, but I am sure once you meet in person, you will have more clarity. Make sure to tell him how you feel and about your concerns. And ask any doubts you have in your mind about his intentions. It is the perfect opportunity to connect and clear your concerns.
Best wishes.
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jul 10, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 09, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I met a guy who was my realtor trying to sell me a property.the property was shortly purchased. Later on he took my personal number and started texting me in that. It was just a hi hello daily kind of thing. Soon it turned into 1hr calls at his office time and the calls happened every three days. He asked me to on a vacation with him and i agreed since both of us had a compatible thinking. Our conversations were casually flirty whenever it happened. Everytime i went to seey property he used to be there since it was his office too and made sure i was well taken care of. From few days i had started reciprocating his care for me. Recenty during a conversation i asked him to come to my city as our relationship status was not defined and i thought he wanted to spend some time with me as the vacation we were planning was postponed after a month. Yesterday during a conversation he told me he is married and i was shocked since he never talked about it and knew everything about me at this point from my family members. Now he says i did not want to hurt me and we are friends, we were taking the vacation as friends. But truth is i am hurt since i had just started reciprocating his flirtiness. I dont know what to do further as i know he has hurt me and he should not have flirted with me and should have told me he was married from beginning. He just said it never came in any conversations. I just confronted him as to why he did want to go on vacation with me when he has a wife. He just said he meant as friends and his marriage is complicated. Should i continue talking to him or end the so called friendship, because at one point i was sure he liked me, he praised me, called me beautiful, used yo stare at me when i was not looking.
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
I understand how confused and hurt you must be feeling. It was definitely wrong of him to lead you on, and never mention that he is already married. We don’t know the dynamics of his marriage, whether it is open or he is hiding all these from his. But I do get the sense that you do not want to be involved with a married person. So, going on this trip, even if he says it’s “as friends” can complicate things. I would suggest you think twice before continuing this “so called friendship” and also before going ahead with the trip plan. He might not care, but it can hurt you since your feelings are genuine.
Hope this helps.
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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |58 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 27, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I'm a 31, female dating a 47-year-old colleague who is separated from his wife and lives with his teenage daughter. He is successful, kind, and emotionally mature. We are happy together, but my parents are completely against it. They want me to marry someone 'age appropriate.' I haven't told my parents that his teenage daughter also dislikes me. I love him a lot but there is also this fear of of never being accepted by either his family or mine. I have not spoken to his family members yet. My friends feel I am overreacting. Can age-gap relationships truly work in the long run? Or am I setting myself up for an obvious emotional breakdown?
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
Well, who is to say which relationships will work and which won't! It all depends on the emotional maturity of two people in that relationship.
Having said that, you seem to have accepted the complications of a large age gap and also someone with a daughter who dislikes you. At 31, why you would choose this, is something only you know...But, ask yourself if you are drawn to this person as he is more experienced in a marriage and is possibly more caring and understanding plus is emotionally more stable due to his age.
Just for this, are you willing to take on the challenge of his daughter not cheering you on; that is not going to be easy to live with and like.
Your parents being concerned for you is something you might want to ponder over as there is a strong enough reason. Do imagine how it's going to be living with this person who might not have the zest for the same things as you as he has already lived that phase, imagine negotiating around his daughter and her tantrums, imagine that he may not want another child as well...
How much of your life do you want to hold on and compromise with? Only you can tell...

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Anu

Anu Krishna  |1651 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 09, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jun 25, 2025Hindi
Relationship
I am married for last 3 years. I found out about my wife's sexual past just months into our marriage. I even enquired her about her past before our marriage and told her that I don't tolerate lies and don't believe in premarital sex but she still lied to me and deceived into a fraud marriage. So I started sleeping with prostitutes and call girls as a revenge. I even had an affair with a divorced woman but that didn't last long. I know I didn't do anything wrong. She is the one who is in the wrong for deceiving me into a fraud marriage. She cheated me by lying through her teeth. She cheated me of my choice to choose a compatible life partner. Should I forgive her and live with her? I can't forgive her but I do want a stable life. Though it is still very unlikely that I will stop cheating on her
Ans: Dear Anonymous,
1. Your wife lied about her sexual past
2. You felt your marriage is a fraud marriage as you can't tolerate her lies
3. For revenge, you went ahead and slept with prostitutes
4. You even had an affair with a divorced woman
5. You have done nothing wrong and it's your wife who cheated

So, you had an affair after your marriage and your wife had her affairs before marriage. So, between you and your wife, who exactly is cheating? I think this is very clear and no matter how much you try and bring the past back, it is not going to change the fact that you are the one who is cheating. So, grow up...stop making excuses for your immature behavior and try and work through your marriage.
You think, she will want to forgive you for cheating after marriage and you don't intend to stop...why should she forgive you, I wonder! Rather than working out your disappointment by talking it through and sorting it like a mature adult, all you have done is act impulsively and now want to justify your whole act; it's not working!
If you want this marriage to work, then seriously grow up!

All the best!
Anu Krishna
Mind Coach|NLP Trainer|Author
Drop in: www.unfear.io
Reach me: Facebook: anukrish07/ AND LinkedIn: anukrishna-joyofserving/
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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |58 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 03, 2025Hindi
Relationship
My husband and I met in college. We dated for 6 years and got married in 2018. In covid after his parents moved in, we started having arguments. Since we had nowhere to go, arguments turned to fights and we couldn't even sleep in separate rooms. After his parents left, we became distant. Our relationship became toxic with constant fights, blame game and emotional manipulation. I finally walked away to my parents place, thinking I'd feel free. Instead, I'm crying every night. Did I make a mistake, or is this normal post-breakup grief?
Ans: Hello mam..Well, firstly just be calm. Take some deep breaths and feel the positive energy inside you. I would like you to write one positive things or one good moment which you remember from each one year of your dating. So six good moments for six good years. After that the good moments for the years you were together after marriage.
After that the negative things that happened to you and then compare the points. Do you really feel that you want to break up with him. No, you ll feel the difference. Love is not leaving your partner after some fights or conflicts. It is all about making your relationship stronger after each conflict.
Parents are part of us , weather they are his or yours. You can't ignore or leave them. You have to live with them and should learn the good things from them. Your parents must have also fought a lot of times but they must never thought to leave each other. We should accept each other with flaws. You should initiate the talks and should try to patch the things up. I hope this works..
Take care !
Regards
Dr Upneet kaur
Follow me on: https://www.instagram.com/dr_upneet
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Shalini

Shalini Singh  |169 Answers  |Ask -

Dating Coach - Answered on Jul 03, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Mam, I am in relationship with one girl since 2.5 year and my girlfriend told about our relationship to her mom. Every positive point of mine which told by my girlfriend to her mom but every point taken negetivly and denied to her.. Move on from relationship... Leave this relationship. He is not good boy.. The problem of her mother is the caste as well as I am Divorcee person and she is unmarried. We love to each other and want to marry. Due to her mother oppose, she is nervousness totally or told that she has no any idea what to do... How to do.. She is not sure she is convince to her family or not. She told that I don't know how much time she can servive to convince her family. Totally her mind felt like empty, dumb, nervousness. Her father not know about our relationship. When this type moment occurs she behave that sometime it is agree to make efforts for convince and sometime when she is nervousness that time she told that i can not convince and to do the breakup because she is not want to go against the her mom and family. But she told that also she want to marry with me. What should I do?
Ans: I am going with the assumption you both are adults who are thinking individuals. I am also assuming you are both financially independent.

Families, parents are important and it should be so. I understand parents apprehension, having said this, I do not get it why caste and relationship status as previously married takes precedence over compatibility. One should also realise that every relationship needs working upon by 2 people- there is no certainty if someone gets married within their caste or choice of parents/ family.

Coming to your issue there are 2 options

- she is open to take the step upsetting her parents and getting married to you

or

- she and you need to move on and move on in the true sense. which means no connection whatsoever, move out of each other's social media, block contact details and move on, heal yourself and find someone else.

in case you wish to connect you may schedule an interaction with me here https://andwemet.com/relationship-guidance
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Kanchan

Kanchan Rai  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Relationships Expert, Mind Coach - Answered on Jul 01, 2025

Asked by Anonymous - Jul 01, 2025Hindi
Relationship
Hi! Please give me some suggestion to deal the issues of affairs that my sister has with a married man of 2 sons.
Ans: The most important thing is to approach your sister with empathy, not judgment. Many people fall into such relationships not because they set out to hurt others, but because of emotional gaps, loneliness, or false hope offered by the other person. It’s likely your sister feels emotionally invested, even if deep down she knows it’s not sustainable or healthy. Instead of directly condemning her, try to gently ask her how this relationship makes her feel — not just in the happy moments, but in the silent, hidden ones. Does she feel secure? Does she see a clear future? Is she constantly afraid, unsettled, or hiding?

Help her see that relationships built on secrecy and divided loyalties often end in pain, not peace. Let her know she deserves a relationship where she can be fully seen, respected, and acknowledged — not one where she must wait in the shadows while someone else remains the priority. Remind her that no matter what the man says, unless he has taken real, ethical steps to end his existing marriage — not just words — she is being asked to accept less than she deserves.

You don’t need to force her out of it — that may push her away. But you can keep showing her the truth gently, reminding her of her worth, and encouraging her to envision a healthier future. If she’s emotionally attached and unable to break free, suggest she speak to a counselor or therapist to process her feelings with clarity.

Affairs rarely end with peace for anyone — not the person having it, not the one being betrayed, and certainly not the children involved. The longer it continues, the more damage it quietly causes, especially to your sister’s sense of self.
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Dr Upneet

Dr Upneet Kaur  |58 Answers  |Ask -

Marriage counsellor - Answered on Jun 30, 2025

Relationship
I am male married since 2013 , I was working full time and had good career for 10 yrs, I absolutely did not had any physical or mental health issues before marriage and was working full time as IT professional. After marriage from begning I had conflicts and disputes with inlaws. They were keeping too many expectations from My Wife and were doing lot of interference and trying to control My Wife and our married life. They were not allowing us to live our married life independently. There is no issues or conflicts between Me and My Wife and she is living with Me by her own will , but My Wife is mentally and physically weak so she does not handle inlaws and is unable to set the boundries with them after marriage. My in laws are immoral, highly manipulative and controlling people, on face they show and act as if they are very matured people and gentleman but behind they do all sort of negative and immoral activties. They also practice black magic and do all sorts of immoral activities to control My Wife and harm Me. After 5 yrs of marriage , I am suffering from rare, severe and complex Neurological disease since 2019 , I am like bed bound, and having difficulty in talking, sitting upright for long time. I am not able to work due to My severe health condition since 5 yrs now. Taking advantage of My severe, rare and long term health condition , My in laws are defaming Me and spreading rumors about Me to the neighbours, relatives and wherever I go by tracking My activities. They are telling that I am mentally unstable and have had physcological / mental issues from begning of marriage and they are trying to earn fake soft corner of thier daugther in front of people saying that our daughter is caught in this toxic marriage and her life is getting spoilt due to this marriage. They are also tracking each and every activity of Mine by hacking my mobile and creating severe obstacles by defaming Me and spreading rumors about Me They are trying to block My medical treatment by misguiding the Doctors and also blocking anyone who is helping Me ? They are forcing Me indirectly to convience My Wife and take mutual divorce and also demanding Money one time Amount from Me. --------------------------------------- How can I deal with such situation ? Considering I am bedbound and My health condition is severe , I am not in position to take legal action against them What can I do to stop this defamation and turning people against Me ? What can I do about tracking of all My activities through hacking of My mobile ?
Ans: Hello sir.
I am sorry to hear the situation of yours. I would suggest you to keep your wife in confidence so that your in laws can't reach your doctor and you can take your proper treatment. Secondly dont take stress of defamation. People around you know you. Now just concentrate on your health so that you can recover from it and join your job again.
Take care!
Regards
Dr Upneet Kaur
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Ravi

Ravi Mittal  |619 Answers  |Ask -

Dating, Relationships Expert - Answered on Jun 30, 2025

Relationship
I'm 18 and I broke up with my bf months ago.. It took me a lot of time to realise it was a toxic relationship but I still don't think I have completely moved on. Like basically it began after I showed a little interest in him,and then he proposed and I said yes. I didn't know much about him then. I'm a good student and always excelled academically and he initially appreciated that..he was really a insecure guy and I tried to comfort him but then things got bad he began to feel off and I started developing feelings for another guy so I broke up with him. And till now he tells his friends I played with him.. I never got into any relationship after him though that guy ( the second one) proposed ( I realised he never respected me either) and he (my ex) accuses me of cheating...i dealt with all these things while giving my boards..after 6-7 months of my breakup.. results were announced..I topped my school. Then I messaged my ex in a friendly way and he seemed to be really jealous and like.. spoke like he couldn't stand my status..he still gives status claiming that he loves me and I left him because he is not as good as me ....what do I do..even my friends told all of this is my fault since I kinda started it and I admit I was not a very good gf either...what do I do..I still get flashbacks of his hurting words and maybe like I'm more concerned about how to get my image back in school after dating him..or what others are thinking
Ans: Dear Ishani,
If you thought he wasn’t good for you, and things were off, you must have had good reasons for thinking so; you are too young to understand love. People usually mistake infatuation for love. If you think you were right to make that choice, stick to it. Do not let others tell you what is right or wrong. There’s always two sides to every story. Focus on your studies; build your career. All these will be long forgotten. What others are thinking should never be your concern when you have not done anything wrong.
Best of luck for your future.
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